Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My answers to The Weird Questionnaire

1 – Write the first sentence of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.

Tark left Santiago and its stalkers to their experiments of felt.

2 – Without looking at your watch: what time is it?


3 – Look at your watch. What time is it?

1:30 am.

4 – How do you explain this — or these — discrepancy(ies) in time?

Was writing and got lost in the Zone.

5 – Do you believe in meteorological predictions?


6 – Do you believe in astrological predictions?


7 – Do you gaze at the sky and stars by night?

Sure do.

8 – What do you think of the sky and stars by night?

Space is the place.

9 – What were you looking at before starting this questionnaire?

A new short work I’m tinkering w/.

10 – What do cathedrals, churches, mosques, shrines, synagogues, and other religious monuments inspire in you?

For the most part, nothing.

11 – What would you have “seen” if you’d been blind?

Perhaps, hopefully, my fantasies.

12 – What would you want to see if you were blind?

My fantasies.

13 – Are you afraid?

There are times, yes.

14 – What of?

Mostly of dying.

15 – What is the last weird film you’ve seen?


16 – Whom are you afraid of?

Me. My self-destructive tendencies.

17 – Have you ever been lost?

Certainly was! !!

18 – Do you believe in ghosts?


19 – What is a ghost?

Something in a tale or film, or baggage I carry around. Depends on my mood.

20 – At this very moment, what sound(s) can you here, apart from the computer?

A table fan running on low speed and a James Blood Ulmer song.

21 – What is the most terrifying sound you’ve ever heard – for example, “the night was like the cry of a wolf”?

A simple scream from my son.

22 – Have you done something weird today or in the last few days?

Written a few new tales in the last week. Two set in Carcosa, one shaded by Lovecraftian influence.

23 – Have you ever been to confession?


24 – You’re at confession, so confess the unspeakable.

Not brave enough to take a hard look in that mirror.

25 –Without cheating: what is a “cabinet of curiosities”?

The contents of this caldron I call a brain.

26 –Do you believe in redemption?


27 – Have you dreamed tonight?


28 – Do you remember your dreams?

Very rarely. Most often I just have the sense I had a nightmare.  

29 – What was your last dream?

I was having tea w/ Tom Ligotti and we were talking about Man on Fire. Anubis came over to our table and asked if we wanted to play a game of cards. There were 2 blackbirds on his shoulders and they did not want us to play . . .

30 – What does fog make you think of?

The unknown.

31 – Do you believe in animals that don’t exist?


32 – What do you see on the walls of the room where you are?

In front of me, over my desk: a painting of the King In Yellow, a shrunken head, and 4 masks. Most of the other walls are covered by bookcases.

33 – If you became a magician, what would be the first thing you’d do?

Make myself a better writer.

34 – What is a madman?

Someone whose reality is too strong to let him or her see this one.

35 – Are you mad?

Might touch upon it here and there in small ways? ??

36 – Do you believe in the existence of secret societies?

There could be, yes, I guess.

37 – What was the last weird book you read?

Submissions for a tribute anthology to Ligotti I’m editing.

38 – Would you like to live in a castle?


39 – Have you seen something weird today?


40 – What is the weirdest film you’ve ever seen?

Tie: Begotten and The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes.

41 – Would you like to live in an abandoned train station?

No. Too cold.

42 – Can you see the future?

Absolutely not.

43 – Have you considered living abroad?

Yes. I do.

44 – Where?


45 – Why?

The wind kind of pushed me this way.

46 – What is the weirdest film you’ve ever owned?

See 40.

47 – Would you liked to have lived in a vicarage?


48 – What is the weirdest book you’ve ever read?

Perhaps RWC’s the king In Yellow?

49 – Which do you like better, globes or hourglasses?


50 – Which do you like better, antique magnifying glasses or bladed weapons?

Antique magnifying glasses.

51 – What, in all likelihood, lies in the depths of Loch Ness?


52 – Do you like taxidermied animals?

No. The thought of killing another living thing for a trophy is maddening! !! That said, I once saw a stuffed Snowy Owl that was found dead, and it was beautiful.

53 – Do you like walking in the rain?

No. I do not like being wet.

54 – What goes on in tunnels?

They are passages from this to discovery or need, so it would be whatever the journey requires.

55 – What do you look at when you look away from this questionnaire?

My tea cup and me cigarette.

56 – What does this famous line inspire in you: “And when he had crossed the bridge, the phantoms came to meet him.”?

An interest in exploring.

57 – Without cheating: where is that famous line from?

[Draws a blank.]

58 – Do you like walking in graveyards or the woods by night?

Have a few times, but not as a rule.

58 – Write the last line of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.

The exhalations of human hearts are dialogues of thin, impure bells melting into silence

59 – Without looking at your watch: what time is it?


60 – Look at your watch. What time is it?


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